Arcana: The Fool
Power Level: 500 Screaming Babies

It is said that in every darkness there is a spot of light, in every truth the seed of a lie.  A million, kajillion years ago God sought the Ultimate Sound.  It was this single-minded desire that gave birth to all of existence and to the tale as it stands today.

Does this tale begin when a particular drone lay on his death bed, filled with regret and rage at the life he had led?  No, but it was with his dying breath that he did the one thing no other drone had done so, his drone's mask breaking at the very last second.

Does this tale truly begin when JDW wandered the byways and highways of Hell?  Does it start when he trained with the Black Dragon, the forgotten and lost nemesis of Satanus?  Does it begin when JDW defeated the demoness Aphrael, Satanus' head concubine, and took on the title "The Man With The Black Hand?"  Was it when he discovered the secret gateway to a new dimension where the power of Heavy Metal reigned supreme: Banghead?

Did it begin with the First War in Hell, or the revelation granted to JDW by God Itself?

Or did it truly begin when JDW beheld the greatest power of all, what may or may not have been the Ultimate Sound after all?


The tale is what it is, and it's not inexactly -when- it began that's so important as it is the -why-.

And the tale, as all good tales, has only just begun...

Arcana: The World
Power Level: 550 Enraged Babies

When the Scion of Heavy Metal disappeared shortly after the First War in Hell, the world where Heavy Metal reigns supreme, Banghead, put forth a particular prophecy.

A thousand years after the First War in Hell, the Avatar of Heavy Metal was born, charged with the task of uncovering the mystery of the imbalance between Earth and Banghead.

Riding on his Percussive Wave Blast across the sea of stars, the original gateway between dimensions completely blocked, REGURGITATOR found himself stranded but not alone, a stranger in a strange land, an old gypsy woman his only companion and guide.

At least, in the beginning of the tale.

It is said that the Avatar found the Scion in the deepest, coldest pits of Hell, asleep and frozen.

It is said that there a pledge, an unbreakable vow, was forged.

And it is known that the REGURGITATOR has since learned of the true power of the Ultimate Sound, and the secret that lays within the heart of Heavy Metal itself.

But that is a tale for the next album...

Arcana: The Tower
Power Level: 750 Crying Babies

Back in the day, all was well.
The Satanus to the Earth fell.
In the heart of it all
It placed the Corporate Machine
And bemasked the first humans

But there was a time
Before the Exile
But after the Fall
And during the temptation
Where a snake was stolen

A single snake
Is how it began
And with the lie
The feud to be lit
And a king grew tired of this shit

For such misrepresentation
Andyconda, King of the Snakes
Would seek retribution
And with his guitar he would stride
with Anubis Unit, on Legion's might

Arcana: The Strength
Power Level: 499 Good Puppers

There exists, even in the bowels of Hell itself, neutral parties that stand neither for nor against Satanus and the Corporate Machine.  Having witnessed the deviltry of Hell's drone process, though, the entity known as CERBERUS could no longer stay silent.  And yet, though he was the foremost Blacksmith of Hades Forge, what is one to do?  So he waited, until finally someone approached him with a third option.

And through the power of Heavy Metal was the loyal, strong creature rewarded, his stewardship of souls hidden from Hell itself recognized.  The Guardian at the Gates agreed with the far-flung plan, never entering the First War In Hell yet waiting, waiting, always waiting.

Until the Avatar of Heavy Metal and the King of Snakes sought him out, for only he knew where the Scion of Heavy Metal lay, frozen in ice, blocking the gateways between Earth and Banghead.

So it was that CERBERUS was proven to be a good boy, the ultimate treat: to rock hard in the prophesied Second War in Hell!

Arcana: The Death

We are Battle Gods, transcending mortal boundaries to destroy and devour all that would stand against us.  We are on a mission from God, to bring forth the Ultimate Sound and, ultimately, destroy the Corporate Machine, set in the heart of the world.

What darkness awaits our ill-fated, misbegotten heroes?  Keep up with us and find out!